


Try To Step Forward, But I Fall Back

by DarkenedHeart



Series: Fighting To Love You [4]
Category: Conviction (TV 2016)
Genre: "A Different Kind of Death", & occational quoting of said Episode, AU, Canon, Conner POV?, Conner-Central, Episode Related, Goes with the Series, S01E09, Small Canon Divergeance, Vague Use of Episode Material
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-30
Updated: 2017-01-30
Packaged: 2018-09-20 23:10:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9520121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkenedHeart/pseuds/DarkenedHeart
Summary: An emotional case that has Conner messed up in the head in more ways than one...





	

Any and all of Conner's plans for Sam are put on hold when he gets the call about Earl Slavitt's impending execution. 

As he starts the set-up for the case, he isn't surprised by Hayes's initial revulsion to take 'one of his cases'. Whatever clout she thought she had, he was still her boss. He'll have to come up with a way to remind her of that particular detail later.

During the 'convincing Hayes' part of his day, Conner is secretly surprised that the woman makes no mention of his visit with her brother the night before. Jackson was probably being smarter than his sister and keeping such personal details to himself. A point to his character that Conner can't help but give the man.

Conner waits until most of the team has gathered before stepping back into the room and excerpting his dominance to remind them all, but mostly Hayes, that he was their BOSS. 

Sam goes into work-mode admirably, stating what he knew about the case without looking at Conner but not in a purposeful way that would get him strange stares. He even goes as far as to pass Conner by during his small speech.

A strange part of Conner wants to grab the other man by his waist, bend him backwards, and kiss him senseless, but instead he resumes the case information where Sam left off.

He had to hold back on his personal needs to look out for his friend. He needed to make sure that there was no doubt who Tom's murderer was.

The heated, although calmly spoken, argument about the 'right and wrong' of the death penalty sends shivers of pleasure through Conner's spine as he goes against Hayes. He's even more pleased that the ending of their little spat is held right in front of Sam. Maybe one Morrison child could help him get rid of the problem of the other.

\---

They go to Indiana. Conner keeps making mental notes on what he's going to say to Sam when the case is over and they can have a private talk. 

As he puts his suitcase on the bed, Hayes storms in, opening the adjoining door with a flourish as she explains her distaste for her own accommodations.

"We're switching rooms," she tells him.

He looks to her, then returns to his bags to pick them up, "Fine."

"No argument?"

"You took Tom's case. I owe you." He explains as he starts to pass her, additionally thinking, 'And if Jackson tries to get together with Sam, you'll be the first to know.'

 

"Thank you..." she says with obvious reluctant. Then adds, "I still loath you for lying to me."

'I still am lying to you.' Is what he can't say, so he calls her out on her own character instead,

\- -

The next morning, Hayes arrives in his room to talk about Naomi of all people. Naomi transferred, her reason is not important, so Conner tells her as about it. 

She takes it lightly, but Conner can see the surprise in her face before he goes into the bathroom to change.

\- 

Conner doesn't like the fact that Hayes badgers Sam about what to do and say to the judge. Sam knows what he's doing. He can handle himself. Conner finds secret pleasure when Sam hangs up on Hayes.

-

Finding out Tom might have allowed bribes is almost as hard as being away from Sam. He forces his mind to focus. Throws himself into the case so he doesn't have to think about the fact that Sam was back home where Jackson was and could possibly be allowing the other man to take him out or be together alone. 

No. He won't think about it. Tom needed him to be on the case. To find the truth.

\- -

The CIU get the stay of execution they were after. Through the door, Hayes happily cheers for their victory.

"We're awesome!"

"Yes we are."

There's a pause. Conner can feel the woman's presence on the other side of the door. He knows that there's still something else Hayes wants to get off her chest, so he waits.

"Why aren't we really?"

"I don't know." Why can't I give up on Sam and just be with you? Why does my heart and mind have to reach out towards a man that I can't have because I'm too afraid? "I really don't."

"I'm too impulsive, you're too calculated."

"One issue." 

"Among many."

'You don't even know the half of it.'

"Sounds like things are getting serious between you and Naomi."

That lie he can do without. "We're no longer together. Naomi is leaving...Without me."

"I'm sorry."

Another truth he can live with, "I'm not."

The next pause is uneasy. Conner never thought he would ever go to Hayes Morrison for advice, but his mouth decides to listen to the inner workings of him mind and he finds himself asking, "Does it freak you out? Committing to someone? Settling down?" 

Letting the world know who you really are inside? 

"I know it used to," he adds as if it were necessary, "but what about now?" 

Because of Hayes Morrison can mature more than him, than what sort of man was he? 

"Depends on the person, I guess."

Maybe I should tell her. "Hayes-"

"See you in the morning, Wallace."

Maybe not.

\---

New morning, old problem. The stay of execution has been lifted. Slavitt has less than twenty-four hours to live.

 

It's painful to watch Hayes work so hard on a case. To be so convinced of a man's innocence as the minutes he has left to live tick by far quicker than they should.

 

It was Bill Newton all along. Hayes and her team found the answer. Solved the case.

But it's too late. Slavitt is dead. An innocent man is gone. Another black stain on Conner's slate.

Hayes is a broken woman. Conner gets her to open the door separating their rooms. 

Conner sees an emotional turmoil that he feels himself. Everything from Sam's near-death experience, to their break-up, to his own jealousy and the case of his murdered friend that turned out to be not what it seemed... He finds himself pulled in my Hayes's grief, putting her head to his chest before wrapping his arms around her.

Why can't he love this woman like he did Sam? What was so different about her? When he broke up with Hayes, he never felt what he did when things ended with Sam. There is a hole in his heart where a face with light brown hair and dazzling blue eyes used to live. Why couldn't he fill that void?

Hayes pulls back and Conner wipes her tear streaked face. He decides to allow himself one night. One night of something else to occupy his brain than Sam Spencer. He needed to make sure that what he was feeling for the other man was worth fighting for. That Sam's void couldn't be filled by another person.

Conner leans down and kisses Hayes. She kisses him back.

 

\--- - --- -- --- - ---

**Author's Note:**

> In the end, Conner falls back on bad decisions. (Maybe he and Hayes aren't that different after all?)  
> \--- - ---  
> *I am legally inclined to state I own nothing.*


End file.
